I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
