The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
