once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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