Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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