Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
