So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
