I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
