You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
