when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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