So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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