I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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