I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
