Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
