i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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