He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would ride that face into the sunset
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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