im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
