just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
