Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
