all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
