i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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