I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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