We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
