just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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