So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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