I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
