He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
