I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
