Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
