4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
