my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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