This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
