He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
