Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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