so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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