you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
