I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to stop coming to work sober
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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