no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We got so high we made milksteak
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
