I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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