Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
