yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
