Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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