brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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