It's just like the Real World with babies
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's the barista slut.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
