i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
