I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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