So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
