Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
