Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
