So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
