Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
