on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
